Dark Magic

Fernet Branca, the cause, cure, sustainer, and catalyst to so many of my adventures.  Here is my chance to add to the chorus of voices singing its praises.  Very simply Fernet is in the amaro class of liqueurs.  These are bitter herbal concoctions that can be used to add depth to a drink, or when taken straight can provide medicinal benefits acting as a digestif, restorative, or simply to deliver more alcohol to your bloodstream.

Fernet Branca

Right, dry objective terms out of the way, Fernet is delicious in a way like coffee becomes delicious.  The first time you have it you’re probably just going along with the cool kids.  Perhaps, a “friend” plunks a shot before you, one round or a dozen later you love Fernet.  You still don’t realize the full on radness of Fernet yet though.  After all, it’s just helped you along to a pleasant cheery state.  The next morning you might wake up feeling just a tad the worse for wear, you start reviewing the previous evening and swear to not drink that dark crap again.  You stumble out of bed and that self-same “friend” greets you with, you guessed it, a shot or Fernet.

Your gag reflex starts to kick in as the previous evening flashes before your eyes.  ‘Trust me,’ you’re told.  Shuddering, you step up to the plate and miracle of miracles, about ten seconds later all is much better and you feel ready to start all over again.  You think to yourself, well that’s pretty effin’ cool.   It fixes the problem it causes.

You go on your merry way and think that Fernet is pretty good stuff.  You haven’t seen it all yet.  Sometime soon, you engage in a bit of gluttony and stuff yourself silly.  A shot of Fernet is handed to you, ‘What’s this for?” you ask, definitely not ready to start drinking yet.  You are again to place your trust in your friends.  What the hell, down it goes.  Minutes later, your gluttony has turned into accelerated Chinese food.  Relief floods your being as the feeling of being overstuffed floats away.  Holy Hand Grenades of Antioch!  Fernet is a miracle, it’s better than sliced bread, hell it’s better than Tivo!  Now you’ve become a complete convert to Fernet and sing its praises and annoy your infidel friends who don’t believe in the cult.  You have seen the light though, and it is dark and thick.


Filed under Booze

6 responses to “Dark Magic

  1. Preach on brother! Fernet is your friend, Fernet is your lover, you cannot go wrong with Fernet!


    Now I have a sudden craving for some…I always feel better after Fernet.

  2. Well said, my good man.

    Indeed, I’ve become such a convert to the Cult of Fernet that I’ve dedicated a blog (almost) entirely to its virtues. It’s kind of crazy, really.

    BTW, I enjoy your site and have added it to my links.

  3. Thanks Fernetiquette, I appreciate that.

  4. SeanMike, Fernet is always apropos

  5. Fernet once saved my life after I ate my weight in Piedmontese fare at Cascina Spinasse. All hail!

  6. Pingback: Tales of the Cocktail 2010 – Day Minus 1, It begins « NW Vivant

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